Yusuf III

Dates: January 20, 1891-present.

The Caliphate in New Andalusia is no stranger to unexpected successors; they're pretty much inevitable when congenital madness runs in the family, the (Jewish) maître d' has rights over each step of the acclamation process, and there are half a dozen collateral lines waiting in the wings. In the 19th century, those unexpected successors went down in history as "the six weak caliphs." In the 20th century, one of them turned out famously well. Only one of them, however, has been judged a bad caliph. His name is Yusuf III, and this is his story.

The troubled childhood of Yusuf Abdallah

At one point, I had some idea what line of the Yusufid family tree Yusuf III descends from; no longer, and no matter. He was the caliph's last son - and his early life was troubled...

• For starters, Yusuf never knew his father, who died while his mother was still pregnant with him. Umm Yusuf [who?] remarried shortly after her son was born, to a stepfather [who?] that never bonded with his youngest adopted son.
• Yusuf learned to speak early, and was a vocal child... until he was 20 months old, and became nonvocal. By the time he started speaking again (age four), he was able to talk with his two-year-old half-brother, against whom his stepfather judged him unfavorably throughout his childhood.
• Yusuf's first memory dates to his second year: the New Toledo rail terminal, where his family was disembarking. His family remembers Yusuf as the only infant on board who wasn't disturbed by the train ride.

As a child, Yusuf did not play well with others. Truth be told, he didn't play very much at all.

• Umm Yusuf nicknamed her son "the Camel," because he was impossibly difficult and prone to spitting. The nickname stuck; years later, when a backbiter brought it to public attention, [details?] it became almost a regnal name. (Don't dare say it where his sympathizers might hear, because it's untrue. Yusuf doesn't spit when he's mad. At least not any more.)
• Yusuf's education began a year late; he needed the time to get comfortable speaking. It was a nightmarish ordeal for all involved, and by the time he was written off and sent to public school, "stupid" had added to his long diagnosis.
• His social development was so slow that Zahra, a maid four years his senior, was assigned as his caretaker.

Then Yusuf turned 11, and everything changed. Most of that change was for the better.

The adolescence and adulthood of Yusuf

By "everything," I meant Yusuf's childhood problems; for the first half of his second decade they resolved themselves impressively well...

• Public school. Yusuf was as awkward and out of place as ever, but the teacher found that he wasn't stupid. (He just hated his tutors.) He was sent home, and his new tutors (once they gave up trying to fix his handwriting) started making rapid progress with him.
• Correspondence. At age 11, Yusuf made his first lasting friend outside his immediate environment: a penfriend. [who?] It worked very well; in writing, Yusuf could be as cool, collected and well-spoken as he wasn't in person. When he realized this (a year or so later), he started an intense daily letter-writing regimen that's never stopped. (After 1920, a lot of publications scoured their archives to find what his letters to the editor and frame them on a wall.)
• Zahra. Zahra's mentioned last because she took the longest - but after four or five years of Yusuf's best efforts, he realized that Zahra was not going away and developed a rapport with her. Once that rapport was established, Zahra broke Yusuf of his worse habits (like spitting); under her tutelage Yusuf learned, more or less, to participate in polite society.

...to make room for adolescent problems instead:

• Adolescent Yusuf wasn't graceless any more, but he still wasn't a social butterfly, especially towards women. Every attempt to make Yusuf mingle ended in failure, and he foiled his family's efforts to make a proper man of him.
• One of Yusuf's older brothers [who?] took him whoring once, hoping a good lay would straighten him out. He made the mistake of giving his brother some money to pay for it himself; Yusuf managed to escape him and spent that money on a round-trip train ticket, disappearing for two days and scaring the hell out of his family. (Years later, the big brother forgave Yusuf for that night's beating.)
• Yusuf's adolescent rebellious phase was spent sympathizing with the rising Party of the Believers. [details?] In classic fashion, these ties were formed by correspondence, eventually with some of the Believers' early leaders. [who?] Some of them actually met him; even their disappointment at how spastic he was didn't change their judgment that his was a rising star.

Around his 18th birthday, Caliph Yusuf II died. Yusuf, who had grown up during his reign, was (along with his siblings) sidelined without a second thought. With no prospect of a caliphal future ahead of him, Yusuf transitioned to adulthood without ceremony or celebration, and unwittingly began to build the foundations that would secure his caliphal future ten years later.

Yusuf during the reign of Basil II

In 1911, to his stepfather's horror, the 20-year-old Yusuf married Zahra, paying for the expenses with their own money to leave him no say in the matter. (Yusuf made the case that Zahra was from a good family, just one in bad straits, and invited his stepfather to find another khassa daughter willing to marry "the Camel" if he thought he'd have any luck. His parents reluctantly conceded that he had a point.)

• The fateful dinner where Yusuf confronted most all of his male family members about their sexual encounters with his wife has already passed into legend - and, unfortunately, public awareness as well. Blame the backbiters.
• As an adolescent, Yusuf's ties with the Believers were rebellious. As an adult, they became committed; what began its life as a third faction in the Maxaha rose rather unexpectedly to a major second one early in the reign of Basil II. In this new political climate, Yusuf (through the power of diligent daily letter-writing) rose somewhat accidentally to become a well-heard voice outside the Maxaha and the party's pet khassa.

The acclamation and reign (to date) of Yusuf III

Reign: 1919-present.
Position: Caliph of the UCNA.
Preceded by: Basil II [who?]

In 1918, Yusuf's moment came: Caliph Basil II died, and for the third time in his life Don Ibrahim was tasked with finding the Caliphal Household's new beneficiary. Much to Don Ibrahim's dismay, the Believers [who?] in the Maxaha decided to throw in strongly behind Yusuf, for a few reasons:

1. His legitimacy. As lastborn son of the last weak caliph, Yusuf was a direct-line descendant from Yusuf I. (This could be said about his brothers too, but they didn't have the support of any rising political party.)
2. His intelligence (which they, more than most, had reasons to believe in.)
3. His character. This was actually one of their stronger arguments; Yusuf - bashful, decorous, pious Yusuf - was immaculate, and the Believers could vouch for him.

There was, of course, the matter of his wife's past; never before had a possible calipha been subjected to so much negative attention. (In a backhanded way, this was almost an asset to her; some backbiters threw in for Yusuf, assuming that he'd provide them with no shortage of back to bite later on.) In the end, Don Ibrahim gave way to the inevitable; "Yusuf III" was nominated, acclaimed, and ascended to the Alchazar.

• Yusuf's acclamation tour was an exciting one for him, simply because so much of it was rail-based. (When he left the railroads behind for more prosaic horses and cars, it became much less exciting.) If you ask about the experience, the parts he remembers are the station stops; he's quite proud of the punched tickets from that tour.
• During the acclamation tour, Yusuf III first saw somebody make a pass at his Zahra. She brushed it off brusquely; he lost his cool, and cockblocked the interloper with his bodyguards. The incident came as a shock to both of them; Yusuf didn't know he had a jealous streak.

The future legacy of Yusuf III

I can't help but notice that it seems inevitable right now - you know, that Don Ibrahim will be right, and Yusuf III will be a bad caliph. And I'm not actually sure this is the case, for a few reasons:

1. Don Ibrahim is old. When Yusuf II began his reign, they were roughly the same age, and they viewed each other as equals. He's gotten older since then, though; at present he's nearly twice the age of Yusuf III, and comparing them to his first two caliphs, the current one (almost half Don Ibrahim's age) is a child.
2. Don Ibrahim has been spoiled by his first two caliphs being ENFP and ENTJ, respectively. In Yusuf II, he had a perfect and loyal companion; in Basil II, a co-conspirator; in both, a public persona that could keep him out of the spotlight. Yusuf III, however, is an introvert (and painfully shy in his own right), shifting public attention to the Don (which he hates.)

Alas, though, I'll never be able to know for sure.